Lawyers, Before You React, Reflect: Using AI to Strengthen Emotional Intelligence

You know the moment when you're typing an email and can feel your pulse rising? Someone's tone rubbed you the wrong way. A client pushed your boundary. Or a colleague dropped the ball - again.

Your fingers fly faster. You write the thing you want to say. And then, if you are lucky, you pause.

That pause is where AI comes in.

The Tone Check

I've started using AI for what I call the tone check.

Whenever writing from an emotional place - frustration, defensiveness, irritation - I run it through AI to ask it things like:

"Can you soften this without watering it down?"

"Rewrite this to to sound calm, confident, and professional."

"How can I write this so it is received better?"

It's not about censoring yourself. It's about ensuring your words land the way you intend.

I've used this in all kinds of situations - and not just at work.

Recently, I was dealing with a contractor on a fence repair, negotiating a boundary dispute, and clearing tension with a neighbor. AI helped me strike the right tone - firm but fair, clear but kind.

Because sometimes, what needs editing isn't the message, it's the emotion behind it.

Client Story

One of my clients was following up with a recruiter about a role she really wanted. Her first draft started out fine, but by then end sounded anxious.

"Hi [name], I just wanted to follow up and check in to see if there have been any updates. I am very interested in the position and want to make sure to provide everything you need. Thank you so much for your time."

It wasn't wrong, but it was like she was asking permission instead of owning her value.

When we ran it through tone check, she asked to make it sound confident, concise and professional.

The re-write was one sentence:

"He [name], following up to confirm my continued interest in the [role] and to see if there has been movement about next steps."

Same message. Different energy.

The recruiter followed up almost immediately, and the tone of the conversation shifted.

Because confidence isn't about saying more, it's about saying what matters - clearly, calmly and once.

Try It Yourself

Next time you're drafting something and feel emotion creeping in, try this:

"Rewrite this as clear, calm and professional, but still firm."

or

"Rewrite this as coming from someone grounded and confident."

Then read the versions outline. One will feel better in your body, that's the one to edit and send.

Try this when you are not emotional, just to see what shifts.

The Bigger Picture

Emotional intelligence isn't about being less passionate. It's about channeling emotion with intention.

AI won't make you less human. Used wisely it helps you become the version of yourself who pauses first. And considers how this will land.

And in law, business, and life? This version usually wins.